MISSING THE POINT:

The State of Christianity Today

 

Early in my Christian walk I tried to express to my fellow Christians what it was like to deal with Christians when I self-identified as gay.  I came up with a little parable to better explain my experiences.

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Imagine a beautiful lake surrounded by gently rolling green hills and edged all about with forest.  About 50 yards from shore there appears to be a man drowning.  Fortunately there is a little rowboat manned by two men, just to the left and just out of reach of the drowning man.  One is at the boat's oars and the other is truly an odd sight to behold.  The second man is attempting to stand at the front of the little boat, but what's really odd is the manner of the man's dress.  The man attempting to stand in the boat is dressed from head to foot in high church garb, and he's carrying a rather ornate, but impractical looking, shepherd's crook.  This "bishopy" looking fellow is wearing the high cone hat with tails, the long bejeweled outer robes, and there is a wide bejeweled church sash looking thing hanging about his neck and running half way down the front of his high church vestments.  He's wearing little white gloves and in one hand he has what appears to be a small anchor.  The high church, "bishopy" looking man is speaking to the drowning man.  He says, warmly and with feeling, "Dear brother! We want you to know that we, our church, desire to stand with you in complete solidarity."  The "bishopy" looking chap is struggling to maintain emotional composure, and even takes a moment to wipe away a small tear from his eye.  He clears his tight throat a little, and says with a husky voice, "So that you may always know we support you completely, we have made this sculpture of an anchor for you."   The high churchy man says, ceremoniously, "We give you this anchor to remind you, always, to stay anchored in who you think you are, and that we are with you in this your choice to drown yourself."  The bishopy man and his oarsman smile, then offer small applause.  Finally, with a wave of the "bishopy" chap's gloved hand, the fellow at the oars begins to pull at those oars and away they glide toward shore.
 
Off to the right of our little scene is a pier which juts from the land out onto the lake.  Still the drowning man is about 50 yards from this pier to his right.  At the end of this pier is another rather odd sight to behold.  At the end of the pier is a man wearing a navy blue suit, sporting a well oiled crew cut, and in one of his hands is a coffee table Bible.  (I mean the Bible is the size of a coffee table...King James Version, of course!).  The man starts shouting out to the drowning man, "HEY!!!  HEY YOU, DROWNING MAN!!!  STOP THAT DROWNING!!!  DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DROWN YOU'LL BURN IN HELL?!?!?  Immediately after shouting at the drowning man, the Bible toating man then hurls a rock at the man in the water.  After throwing the rock the man yells, even louder, at the drowning man, "HEY!!!  WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JESUS?!?!?"  The second shout is followed by another stone sent rocketing toward the head of the drowning man.   Then shouting a third time, "HEY, DUDE!!!   I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!!!  "IF YOU WOULD JUST STOP DROWNING LONG ENOUGH JESUS CAN SET YOU FREE AND THEN YOU CAN BE LIKE ME!!!  Our religious zealot throws a new volley of rocks at the head of our drowning man, but soon decides to leave, grumbling about how the drowning man treated him.  "Jesus said people would hate and persecute me, because I am a Christian."
 
Further from the shore of the lake is a man sitting with his wife on the fence which runs around the lake.  The man says to his wife, "Say, do you think that guy is swimming, or do you think he might be drowning?"   His wife squints up her eyes, uses her hand as a visor to block the glare of the sun and says, "I don't know, he's too far away for me to really tell what he's doing."   The husband hunches into a Rodin's "The Thinker" kind of pose and considers the matter.  Finally he says "Maybe we should call 911 for the guy."  The wife quickly responds, "Honey, you're a good man, but we're to far away to really know what is going on over there.  I'm afraid we might embarrass the man if he isn't really drowning."  Then the wife continued sagely, "Judge not, lest you be judged..."  And finally the wife said, "We don't know enough to make a real decision, so let's just enjoy our day out, and let that person in the water enjoy their day out at the lake."

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What do you suppose happened to the man drowning in the lake?  He drowned, of course.  The man was accepted and loved right where he was.  The man was condemned for where he was, and the man was ignored where he was, because "Who are we to say the guy is drowning, maybe he's doing some new kind of water exercise; it's best not to judge."

What I needed from Christians was for one of them to dive into my situation.  What I needed was someone to believe God rather than what their feelings, or the feelings of others told them.  I was drowning and everyone judged my situation.  No one judged my situation from a place of understanding or experience, everyone judged my situation from their own person feelings about where and what I was.  Granted there were lots of drowning people around me who kept telling everyone we were fine, we were just born to drown, as it were, and,  "Leave us alone or you're judgmental and hateful!"  God clearly sees the world drowning in sin, and he expects those who call themselves Christians/Christ followers to ask him for eyes to see the way he sees.  God looks on the inside, and knows drowning when he sees it.  It isn't a bad thing not to jump to judgment, but walk closer  to the situation and judge from up close.  It isn't a bad thing to hold to God's righteous standard, but move closer and learn that though the lost may have done a swan dive into the deep end, of their own free will, they now need saving.  All the right knowledge in the world about lifesaving are pointless and useless, if no one dives into to actually save the drowning person.  It is good to accept people where they are, but God has something much better for them.  Don't offer a person help to keep drowning.  God loves us where we are, but he saves us from drowning in our own sins.
 
Jesus came to a world which hated, reviled, and ultimately murdered him.  Jesus didn't come to condemn or confirm sinners in their sins.  Jesus came to find and save what was lost.   What Jesus did is overcome the world, and anyone truly born again; born of God's own Spirit; given a new born spirit called the "divine seed" which literally means "sperm of God", will be conformed to the image and likeness of Jesus Christ.  Jesus came to find and save, and that is the same thing Christ followers will do.  It's isn't optional it is hardwired into our new spiritual DNA.  Jesus dove into a drowning world, and started pulling drowning people to eternal life, freedom, and safety.  That is the Christian's birthright and the Christian's call.  You can't belong to Christ and love people til they drown.  You can't belong to Christ and condemn them from drowning.  And you can't belong to Christ sitting on a fence with no opinion on sin when God tells us exactly what he thinks of sin.

No one dove into the water to save the dying man.  Everyone did what was right in his own mind, but Jesus dove in to rescue.  We are warned again and again by Christ and the apostles he appointed and empowered to do and speak for him.

^"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32

Believing means doing.  Belief in Jesus Christ is always a 3 part matter.  1) Do what Jesus says. 2) This makes us true disciples, and as we do more and more what Jesus teaches the more we become his true disciples.  3) As we practice Jesus' teaching, becoming more and more his disciples, then the truth sets us free.  Being and doing go hand in hand. 

 ^"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Ephesians 2:10

Obeying God is simply what believers in Jesus Christ do, it is what we are new born to do.  God has already gone before and prepared our way for us.  We can dive in with absolute confidence that God is with us, and though we do not know what to do, God does.  When we need the knowledge he gives us the knowledge we need.  

Think about Moses parting the Red Sea.  We like to see things the way Cecil B. Demille saw Moses.  We imagine Moses standing on a rock ledge jutting out over the sea, and Moses grandly gesturing for the sea to part.  The truth is God commanded Moses to start walking toward the sea.  Moses grand gesture was to walk straight into the sea.  Many have said the sea probably parted about the time the water was licking at Moses' bottom lip. 

That's it!  That's what I'm talkin' bout!!

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

James 1:22

There is no way around it.  We will either go with our own thinking about things, or we will obey God, and do what Jesus teaches.  We will either find reasons not to dive into a drowning world, or we will be like Jesus Christ, and dive, without knowing anything more than he has called us to obedience.  We may call ourselves by which ever religious sounding term we choose, but the Bible is utterly clear about what a Christian is to do.  To merely listen to right teaching without right action is self-deception.

 

 “If you love me, keep my commands."

John 14:15

No one says it better than Jesus!  Stop doing what you think is right, and then stamping God's name on it.  If the sinner drowns, but you've excused yourself and didn't dive in, then expect the righteous judgment of God condemning you for not being like Christ.  You're going to have to be like Moses and get wet.  4 times Moses gave God good reasons why he, Moses, was the wrong guy to send to Pharaoh demanding the freedom of the Hebrew Slaves.  God didn't become angry with Moses, but carefully explained to him that he would be there to get Moses out of trouble.  The fifth time Moses came clean and asked God to send some other savior to Egypt.  When Moses asked God to find someone else to send to Egypt, we are told, "God's anger burned against Moses."   Seriously, honestly, do you, Christian/Christ follower believe God will withhold his anger if you make excuses, and then refuse to obey his commands?  So, okay, be self-serving if you must.  If you're not motivated by empathy and compassion for the drowning man, then dive in to save your own skin.  Dive in to reach a drowning world because you fear God, and his condemnation for your disobedience. 

The point has never been the sin of the world, the point has always been that Jesus overcomes the sin of the world.  If you have the cure, then the point is to offer the cure.  If the world rejects the cure then you're off the hook.  But if you offer everything including acceptance of sin, condemnation, or nothing at all, that is NOT offering Jesus' overcoming the world.  God has the answer simply give that answer.  But you're going to have to dive in to give that answer up close and personal, just the way Jesus did.  From God's point of view we shouldn't worried about our "rights" in this world, we should be focused on our responsibilities to serve God and his kingdom, just exactly the way Jesus did.

"Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."

John 5:19

GET THE POINT?? Now go ye, and do likewise!

THE DIFFERENCE

Simply Put:The Difference Is I Am Different

All of my life I have had the sense I was walking with one foot up on a curb and one foot down on the road.  Ever walked with one foot stepping up on the curb while the other is down on the road?  You walk long enough one foot on the curb and one foot off, and you're back, hips, knees, ankles, and feet will begin to hurt.  The action of walking on such an uneven path is jarring and punishing to the whole body.  It isn't shocking why you'll only ever see children walking with one foot up on the curb and one foot off.  Adults have learned that one foot on the curb and one foot off the curb gets you nothing but pain.  Find a smooth and level path, and not only can you walk with comfort, but you'll find you can run as well.  The way of least resistance is the path all of us find, but that path, if followed to it's end is the road to destruction.   Were I not different I would have died with many of my friends in the late 80's and early 90's who died of AIDS.  I was gay.  Yes I "was" gay, as in, "I once was, but now I am not."   What is the difference between me and the majority of gay people?  I didn't merely settle for what I "felt" to be true about myself.  I wanted cold, hard, concrete facts to support what my feelings told me.  Feelings are often wrong.  My feelings about others had been wrong.  Perhaps the problem wasn't anything to do with anything in the world and the problem might just be with my gay feelings.  Maybe my feelings were broken.  I set off on a ten year odyssey to discover if I was really born gay.  I had no idea the education I'd receive, but it isn't the education I could ever have expected.  My educational journey is one of those experiences which is worth $1 million, but if someone had offered me a million dollars to go on the journey I'd never have taken it.

 

I simply wanted to know if my homosexuality was biologically determined.  After that ten year educational journey I would learn that human sexuality isn't hardwired.  In humans the biology of sexuality works the way biology works for the development of spoken language.  Biology dictates that humans may learn a spoken language.  Biology does not dictate the language we will speak;  biology doesn't dictate that we speak Tamil, English, or Swahili.  Biology only grants the ability.  Biology dictates that we may develop sexuality, but biology CANNOT dictate the language, or more precisely, biology cannot dictate orientation.  It's just the facts folks.  No one is born gay, and just as important; no one is born straight.

 

I'm different, plain and simple.  And would you like to know what sets me apart from the gay people you know?  I didn't choose my gay feelings.  I want to make that absolutely 100% clear:  I DID NOT CHOOSE MY GAY FEELINGS.  But, unlike all the gay people I have known I made the choice to challenge and change those feelings.  God never reached down and took my feelings away.  When my thinking started changing then my actions started changing, and the more I challenged and changed my thinking and my behavior started changing then my feelings started changing.  I didn't do it by myself, God really did all the work I simply did my little part.  I chose to change the way I thought, and changed thoughts brought about changed behavior, and as behavior changed then feelings changed as well.  I didn't choose my gay feelings those were largely the result of what had been done to me.  I didn't even think I had to right to decide anything for myself.  Because my father, basically handed me over to the cruel mental torture my uncle gleefully meted out to me, I settled for feelings which continued my abuse by my own hands.  I was well trained by my abusers, and continued to believe I didn't have a say, didn't have a right, to have my own need for love and belonging.  Others chose to heap cruelty upon me, and I became convinced I was worthless,  no one could love me, and I had no place in this world.  I always lived with the notion that I was an object to be used, and nothing I felt or wanted mattered.  I didn't pull away from people because I feared rejection.  I pulled away from people, because I didn't want to burden them with my loathsome presence.  If I could do something for someone then I could enjoy their companionship for awhile.  It would never last of course.  I never could figure out how to know when my usefulness ended, so I spent most of the time just keeping my distance.  I honestly never minded being used.  When I say that I really mean it.  I never minded being used, it was what I was for after all. 

The Summer of my 8th year I took swimming lessons at the public pool in my town.  One day a boy a couple years older than me stole something from another swim student.  I confronted the boy, telling him, "Stealing is wrong, you can't steal."  He closed the distance between us, glared at me for a moment, and then he spit in my face.  I won't say it was a lot of fun, being spit on, but I fully understood why he spit on me.  I knew from my uncle that spitting on someone was a bad insult, but  I did not feel insulted.  The boy had the right to react the way he did.  I'd upset him.  If he hadn't stolen I would never have bothered him.  If he had chosen to throw me in the pool instead of stealing, I'd have been completely okay with that.  I was merely an object to be used as anyone liked.  I wasn't a real boy, couldn't have anything real, and that included relationships.  I would never have chosen to feel gay, but being an object certainly lead me to those feelings.  There was a real living, needy, empty souled boy, but he'd been completely locked away, and the empty thing was left behind.  No love could penetrate, and that is the way it was supposed to be.  I had been convinced by my users/abusers I was a thing for their use and abuse.  The need for belonging and loving never goes away, but you can't expect those things; you don't have even the right to expect those things.  I was locked away in a cold empty dark cage inside.  I didn't believe anyone could or would love me, accept me, or want anything to do with me, unless I was some use.  So I settled for something much less than love, acceptance, and belonging.  I settled for intense sexual feelings; the merest crumbs of human kindness.  Homosexuality was a good fit for me, because no one would ever have to get the real me.  I could have sex with guys, and enjoy, vicariously "maleness".  The ironic thing is some of these boys were more girl than a lot of girls I knew.  Still I settled.   I didn't think that what I was doing was using those boys.  I didn't think about it, because subjectively I was an object.  What can an object do, but objectify others?   Every time I had sex I was merely using the other person, and I was being used.  This was my life.

When Christ came to find me, he offered me something I'd never had...worth.   He didn't reach into his pocket and pull out a pricing gun and raise my price a couple of dollars.  Jesus offered me his own value.  He took all my worthlessness, and gave me all his worth.  I didn't deserve it, but Jesus never asked or demanded I be worth it.  All Jesus wanted was to free me so I could be in relationship with him.   The difference between me and other gay people?  I chose to accept all Christ offered, and that included freedom from me, my prison, my worthlessness, my state of being a thing to be used and abused.  I chose to believe Christ over any of my own feelings.   The difference between me and others who are or have been same-sex attracted is I let Jesus into the dark, and allowed him to lead me out.  It was a long and difficult thing.  It is very difficult to become someone when all you've ever been is some thing.  There were many times I wanted to turn back, because I still didn't have any evidence I was someone.  God doesn't give up, and I'm thankful for that.  God keeps at it until he gets into us and gets us out of that darkness.  It is easier to settle, but God never allows his children to settle.  As my thinking has changed my actions have changed.  As my thinking changes and my actions change, then my feelings change as well.  The gay feelings never went away I simply grew out from under them.  Homosexuality isn't a state of being.  Homosexuality is a blockage to freedom, life, wholeness, and someoneness. 

 

I am completely different, because I will only settle for Christ.