STILL ANGRY?

Nope, It Doesn't Serve God's Purposes...

Since returning to Columbia, SC, and the church I attended then, I'm reminded of some loose ends left when I moved from here to there.  One of loose ends, upper most in my thinking, has been something my pastor said to me, not long before I left, "Lonnie, when are you going to let yourself off the hook for your past (in homosexuality)?"  I stayed silent, because I was impressed to remain silent.  I knew God had an answer for the question, and I knew it was a good one...a VERY good answer.  What I didn't understand then I have come to understand now.  I needed the answer more than my pastor needed the answer then.   God's answer was simple but among the most profound things I've ever learned from God. 

I'll tell you what that answer was:

"Lonnie, you'll get off the hook, for your past, when the Church removes you from it, by taking your place on that hook."

It took almost another five years before I was able to understand why God wanted to give me his answer long before he wanted my pastor to have it.  It took a long time for God's answer to grow on me and into me.   I, of course, became more angry when God answered that very important question my pastor asked.  I remember my response to God when he filled me in.  "Well, God," I said sarcastically, "I won't be holding my breath waiting for the Church to step up and take me off the hook.  I'm certain if you came back in a 100 years my sun bleached bones will still be dangling from that, proverbial, hook."    I was still seeing things from a decidedly negative perspective.  I must confess here I do not believe the Church, for the most part, will ever step up to get on the hook where I hang, but that is God's problem and not mine.   Mine is to join my life to Christ in his yoke, and pull the burden he pulls.  Not that I'm the one really doing the pulling, mind you.  That I think is the heart of the matter... for me at least... Christ's burden and Christ's yoke.

Jesus says it like this:

 

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy with Christians who continually refuse to obey what Christ says, but today I have a greater sense of disappointment that my fellow Christians are missing out on the great work Jesus would do in and through them to a lost and dying world.  I've also come to realize too many of my fellow Christians are no different from the homosexual state, from which God freed me.  How could I remain angry with a Church as lost as I was??

   

Perhaps you will accuse me of being full of myself... How dare I pass such judgment??!!  I must think far too highly of myself, or I'd never dare say such things about my fellow Christians.  But how is it that Christians who are called, cleansed, justified, and freed, by Jesus Christ cannot understand how to reach sexually broken people?  The cure for sexually broken people is relationship with God, and relationship with his people THE CHURCH!    The Church cannot see, because they are blind; Christians are just as relationally broken as any gay person walking around today.   If Christians understood their relationship to God, they'd see clearly how to help the sexually broken.  The answer was always so simple I thought Christians were just being mean.  I thought Christians fully understood what they were doing, and were actively refusing to offer what they had in Christ to gay people.  The biggest shock of my life wasn't that God could free me, and anyone else from their sinful thinking and ways, but that most of my fellow Christians don't understand or have the kind of relationship to God they think they do. 

How could I go on being angry with Christians when they are just as relationally broken as I was in my own gay lifestyle??  I'm certainly not angry with LGBT people.   They are, after all, just being what they are, and what they are is ignorant of what true relationship is meant to be.   If I can't be mad at the gay people then I can't be mad at the religious people, and for the same reason. 

I don't know what God wants to do with this new found understanding he's given, but I'm not angry any longer.  I'm still passionate, but not angry.  God has a way, and he'll show me what he wants in his own good time.

WHAT HEART? WHERE?

The Heart Is Where Home Is

“Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”

  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.   But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

1 Corinthians 15:55-57

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;"

Psalms 23:4

"If God is standing in the valley of the shadow of death, it is the place we should desire most to be."

Our circumstance might look like death.  Indeed we might be standing upon the threshold of death's door, but wherever God stands he brings life.  God cannot fail to be and bring eternal life wherever he is.  To follow God is to find life.  Though God stands a foot from death, eternal life, then, would be standing next to death.   Death's location has nothing to do with how close or far eternal life is.   If we are in Christ, though we die, (death takes our physical bodies) we're still eternally alive, because we are in Christ.

 

5 years and 10 months ago, when I left my heart's home in Columbia, SC, I simply left my heart behind.  I didn't realize it, until I met up with my heart, upon returning to Columbia.  To be precise I left my heart at my church, Calvary Chapel North(E)ast Columbia; CCNE for short.   Feel better?   I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER!  But it would have been better if I'd taken my heart with me.  I'd have been obeying God if I'd taken my heart with me, instead of insisting I should never have had to leave CCNE.  I don't know how long God will allow me to stay at CCNE, but I know he'll be moving me on eventually.  I'm going to enjoy and appreciate the joy and tears while I'm here, but when I leave CCNE the next time I'll be taking all of me.  I love the pastors and people at my church.  I love being back to work as a merchandising manager for a furniture company.

 

God doesn't  ever tell us to figure him out.  Jesus says:

"and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”

Matthew 10:3-5

If we are truly born again people we are the Good Shepherd's sheep.  We may not FEEL like following God, but that will never work.  We may feel we'd rather be in some other pasture.  (Isn't the grass always greener on the other side of the fence?).  God doesn't reside in those contrary feelings.  God calls us to follow him, and our part is to do what he asks of us with our WHOLE HEART.  I can't find where God says, "First clear my commands with your FEELINGS, and then obey them."  Jesus says:

“If you love me, keep my commands."

John 14:15

The problem is our FEELINGS... they are too big for us, but thanks be to God!  God tells us how to overcome those overpowering FEELINGS of ours... love, completely devote, and serve God with our WHOLE HEART.  When our heart for God grows bigger than our FEELINGS, God overwhelms our feelings!  Our feelings are put in their place and we become more and more Christ's sheep.  God has a HEART of love for us, and when we obey Christ's commands he expands our HEARTS for him and others.

When we're facing a dead end, or are, literally, standing on the threshold of death's door, and our FEELINGS are telling us to RUN AWAY!!!!!!!  God is there with a bigger HEART full of eternal life and love for us.   When we answer his call to obey our completely devoted, loving, serving WHOLE HEARTS for God will overwhelm our overpowering FEELINGS and bring them down to size. 

WHOLE HEART FOR GOD       > our feelings <

 

I'm gonna let God have the last word... And WOW is it BIG!!!!!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13

NOT THE OLD RUGGED CROSS...

Considering My Cross

 

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

Matthew 16:24-26

It is the time of year for all good Christians to reflect on the cross.  We consider what Jesus of Nazareth did for us by dying on a Roman cross.  But I've been thinking about the cross Jesus says is my cross.   Jesus says, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, and take up their cross and follow me."  Why is it we contemplate the cross of Jesus, but pay so little attention to the cross Jesus says we must carry?  So I'm considering my cross this year.

There is a vast difference between my cross and the Roman cross Jesus was nailed to.  It appears that Jesus is saying, "Come and die with me," but that isn't what he is saying.  Why does Jesus talk about a disciple's cross, what happened for Jesus to speak of, not his cross, but a disciple's cross, or specifically, "My cross"??   Let's take a look at what happens before Jesus speaks of denying or taking up.

 

"From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.  Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Matthew 16:21-23

What occasions Jesus speaking of denying self and taking up crosses?  Peter's response to Jesus saying he must suffer and die.  It appears Jesus is saying, "Come follow me to the place of your crucifixion," but Jesus merely says, take up your cross and follow.  Now if Jesus is saying "Follow me to the place of your death," then doesn't that contradict what Jesus says in Matthew 11:28?   “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."   If Jesus is telling us to follow him to our death on our own cross then he does contradict himself.   What is missing from the text of Matthew 16 is cultural and religious context.  When Peter rebukes Jesus saying, "Never, Lord! This (horrific death) shall never happen to you!", he is only going by what the Jews had been taught for centuries, beginning with Moses.

  

Moses was actually the mold the Jews used to measure Messiahs.  Moses was sent by God to deliver God's people from brutal slavery to Pharaoh, king of Egypt.  In the mind of the Jews the Messiah would free the Jews from their oppressors; cleans the people and nation of sin and from worshiping false Gods; and finally, (r)establish a kingdom for the benefit of the Jews.  Peter, naturally believed Jesus was going to be the Messiah he had been taught to expect.  When Peter rebukes Jesus he isn't doing it out of love for Jesus, but rather for his own selfish gain.  If you'll remember several times Jesus has to break up arguments among his disciples.  They were constantly arguing over who would sit next to Jesus on his right and on his left.  Think about the phrase, "So and So is the boss's right hand man."  The right hand man is the closest, most trusted side kick or henchman for a powerful leader.  To be King Jesus' right hand man would make a person the second most powerful person in the land (world).  If Jesus died then Peter wouldn't get to be Jesus right hand man.  And how do we know Peter is only thinking of himself and his gain??  Jesus tells us so, "Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”  Peter was only concerned with gaining power wealth and position.  Peter's motives weren't serving God's purposes, and actually oppose God's purposes.

   

So Jesus isn't talking about his cross.  Taken in context Jesus is confronting Peter's (and his other disciples) "merely human" way of thinking and being.  So when Jesus tells his disciples, "Deny self and take up your cross,"  he's addressing their double minded service of both God and themselves.  In context what Jesus teaches is very clear, "Deny your merely human desires and concerns."  If Jesus were speaking to us Americans he might say it this way:

 "Deny your self-serving demands/desire for your rights, and stop pursuing the selfish ideal of the American Dream."   

It isn't too difficult to see why Jesus tells us "Deny ourselves," in light of Peter's completely selfish thinking.  Its the whole, "take up your cross," thing which gets things muddled up.

Because of Jesus death on a Roman cross when Jesus uses "your cross" to confront his disciples we automatically assume Jesus is speaking about dying with him on his cross.  I believe a careful look at the matter will reveal that Jesus is saying something very different from what we've traditionally thought about Matthew 16:21-28.

For the first time Jesus begins to explain to his disciples that he must suffer and be put death, but that he will rise from the dead after three days (Matthew 16:21).  What Jesus never says is how he will die.  Again we tend to read into the account that Jesus told his disciples he must be crucified.  But the text never explicitly says Jesus spoke of crucifixion, or any other methodology.  Matthew's account merely says, "...Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life."  There is an internal problem Jesus creates, which makes it unlikely anyone could believe he is speaking of his death on a cross.   In verse 21 Jesus says he must suffer many things and then be killed, but that he would be raised after three days.  Who does Jesus say would make him suffer?   Jesus tells his disciples he must suffer at the hands of the Elders, Chief Priests, and teachers of the law.  I defy anyone to find a place anywhere in the Old or New Testament where the Jewish leaders crucified anyone.  There are places in the Bible where people were hanged on trees, but that doesn't mean crucifixion.  Crucifixion was a Roman practice they introduced to Palestine.  Twice in John we are told Jewish leaders picked up stones to stone Jesus.  In Acts 7 Stephan is stoned to death, by the Jewish leaders.  Stoning was the method of execution the Jews preferred.  Under Roman occupation the Jews weren't even allowed to execute criminals.  Had the Jews crucified Jesus they could hardly have done it in secret.  Stoning on the other hand could be done by dragging the intended victim to an out of the way place.  The Romans would have been quite upset with the Jews for using crucifixion.  It is very likely the Jewish leaders would have found themselves hung on crosses right next to Jesus.  Crucifixion is a horrible, degrading, shameful way to die, and the Romans used it to keep subject peoples intimidated and under control.  The Romans, like all governments, didn't like competition, and tended to remove all competition by killing it.  Only the Romans could have crucified Jesus and got away with it.

  

The Jewish leaders of Jesus' day were as duplicitous as any politicians today.  The Jewish leaders fostered hatred and mistrust of the Romans, while at the same time seeking to keep Roman favor.  During Jesus earthly sojourn the Jewish High Priest was appointed by the Roman governor, not by God.  In order to keep the favor of the Jewish people their leaders could not act like Romans.  The Romans were seen as hateful defilers and oppressors of the Jewish religion and people.  When Jews worked with the Romans, to oppress their fellow Jews, the Jewish leaders excommunicated them.  (See Luke 5:30; and 18:9-11)  Even Jesus makes a negative comment about tax collectors.   In Matthew 18 Jesus teaches his disciples that if a sinning brother won't give up his sin the Church should, "...let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."  (Matthew 18:17).  No Jewish leader wants to do anything which makes Jews connect Jewish government (serving God) with Roman government (serving false gods, and oppressing the Jews).

There are lots of other problems with Jews and Crucifixion, but this post is already getting long.  I hope I've given you enough to see that there are real problems with the idea Jesus' cross and "your cross" are connected in anyway, at least not in this part of the Scriptures.  We are told in Scripture that we are crucified with Christ, but that's not the context of Matthew 16  So if Jesus isn't making a connection between his cross and "your/my cross" then what does Jesus mean by, "Take up your cross and follow me."??  If Jesus isn't saying "Follow me to the place of your crucifixion," then what is he saying?  As I said before, if Jesus is saying "follow me to your crucifixion," he would be contradicting what he's already taught... "Come to me all who are weary and heavily burdened. and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28).  But if we begin with Matthew 11:28 then we can understand better what Jesus is saying in Matthew 16 about, "taking up your/my cross..."

  

What is Jesus talking about when he says, "come to me, you who are weary and heavily burdened and I will give you rest?"  What is the heavy burden?  What is it which makes us weary?  Sin and the brokenness it produces in our lives, right?  So how can Jesus first say, "Here let me take your sin and brokenness," but then say, "Take up your cross (a terrible, shameful, slow, excruciatingly torturous death) and follow me to your place of death???"   Who could believe or trust Jesus??? To be crucified with Christ on his cross; it is Christ dying on his cross which frees the sinner.  Crucify me on my cross and my sin will be paid for, but I will still be cut off eternally from the presence of God.  I've died, and have no way to come back to life, so I am eternally dead.  And if I am to die on my cross then why would Jesus need to be crucified?  Yes, Jesus is speaking figuratively when he speaks of your or my cross, but don't confuse your or my cross with the cross of Jesus.  Jesus came to take my sins on his cross, and give me freedom from death.  Jesus comes to take our burden, our cross and give us rest, so what is this cross of ours, and why does Jesus say deny self and take up your cross, if he comes to take it away??  

When Jesus speaks of your cross and my cross he is talking of the way we live our lives without God.  Our cross is the result of our sin.  Jesus is comparing our sinful, godless, brokenness to being crucified.  He is saying, the way you and I live our lives; everything we do to cover up our failures; how we attempt to fix ourselves by getting more and more stuff; climbing the corporate ladder; sex, drugs and rock'n'roll; all that we do to feel happy is in reality a horrible, painful, shameful, slow torturous death: CRUCIFIXION.  "There is a way that seems right to people, but in the end it is the way of death."  So when Jesus says, "...deny yourself and take up your cross," he is saying, "Stop thinking and living like a mere human with your focus only on human concerns and desires."  Jesus is saying, "Just stop creating that cross of yours; pick up the mess of your life, just as it is, pick it up, and follow me."  Jesus isn't leading us to death, but rather to life, freedom, and peace.  Jesus isn't calling us to die on "your/my cross" he's calling us to stop killing ourselves with our sinful broken ways. 

In Christ there is no condemnation:   "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

In Christ there is reconciliation with God, truth, and everlasting life:  "Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life."

Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus.  Stop thinking and living the old "merely human" way, because it is the way of terrible, torturous, hateful, and shameful death.  Just pick up that mess you've created and chase after Jesus with all you've got.  Before too long you will see that Jesus does exactly what he promises, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."  

 

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

Measured In Birds?

"Aren't two sparrows sold for only a penny? But not one of them falls to the ground without your Father knowing it. He even counts every hair on your head! So don't be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows." 

Matthew 10:29-31 (NIrV)

I awoke this morning at 4:30 AM.   When I wake between 4 and 5 AM, on my off week, I know God is calling me to rise, pray, and get to writing.  I'm working on my book, © Most Everything I Need To Know About God's Love I Learned From Hookers:  Principles For Living In Christ.  This morning's text for consideration is Matthew 10:29-31.

"When Jesus says, "You are worth more than many sparrows...," it is a commentary on the great fall of humankind since God's creation.   Anything less than,  "in the image of God he created them;" (Genesis 1:27) is an indictment, not a reassurance of human worth to God."

Scripture gives a very dim view of the human condition:  "All of them have turned away. They have all become worthless.  No one does anything good, no one at all." (Romans 3:12 NIrV).  The good news is God takes all of our human worthlessness, and lays it upon Christ hanging on a cross.  God then takes the inestimable worth of Christ and places it upon us.  

This is what I'm thinking today, what do you think? 

JESUS ONLY LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN

No Grownups Allowed

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

 Matthew 18:3

Stop and think about it for a moment...When we are made born again, a brand new spirit, born of God's own Spirit, we are a new born creation shoved into an old world worn sinner's body and soul.   Can you say ISSUES??   We don't "feel" any different, but by faith we are expected to believe we are made different; vastly different.   Why else does Jesus tell us, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children..."???  Jesus knows when the Holy Spirit births a new spirit that spirit is going into an old sinner.  "Change and become like a little child..." is not only some of the best advice anyone ever gave, but, as Jesus clearly says, "Truly I tell you..." it is absolutely what must happen.   As usual, when Jesus tells us, "This is very important for your eternal destiny," we ignore what He tells us, and we fit Jesus into our lives as it suits us.   "There is a way which looks and feels right, but it is the street leading to the graveyard."  (My paraphrase of Proverbs 14:12)   Jesus is absolutely serious.

   

Why does Jesus insist; require; demand that we must change and become like little children?   Well, tell you what, next time you're in your church do a little experiment.   First approach an adult man, and say, "Would you take my hand, walk with me, and allow me to lead you around the church building?"   Don't offer an explanation, simply offer your hand.  Do I need to tell you the response you'll receive?   If you are an adult guy asking to lead another adult guy around by holding his hand you might even get threatened, with physical violence, for trying to hold the other guy's hand.   Okay, so it's not a very good idea to ask a grown man to be part of this little experiment.   So instead approach a teenaged guy, saying, "Would you take my hand, walk with me, and allow me to lead you around the church building?"   Make sure you aks the young man in front of a large group of his friends.   If you are an adult male offering a teenaged male your hand to hold, so you can lead him around, you might even earn yourself a beautiful pair of silvery looking bracelets linked together by a little chain, and locked against your will round your wrists, behind your back.   Okay, okay, it's a bad idea to approach a teenager, offer to hold his hand, and to lead him wherever you want to go.

   

So, alright, let's try something completely different...  Approach the mom of a little fellow, and ask if you can take him for a little stroll around the building.  You can even take the stroll around the building in full view of mom and dad, if that helps.   Offer the little tyke your hand, and see if he'll take it.  See if the little guy will walk along with you, allowing you to lead him by the hand.  Having performed this little experiment myself, I know it works.  The little guy will go wherever you want him to go, even if it takes making it into a fun little game the little one isn't hard to convince.  Even Jesus proved this one to the group of people listening to him teach..."Jesus called a little child to him, and placed the child among them."  Matthew 18:2.  How's that for visual aids?   "Hey kid, come here..." 

 

It doesn't take a theological brain trust to figure this one out.  Where Jesus tells us to go, and what Jesus tells us to become isn't something any adult or even teenager would ever do willfully.

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also]." 

Matthew 16:24

Only a little child will do and go wherever he/she is made to go.   "Come and do as I say.  Come and do whatever I tell you to do, but know that obedience will kill you."   Yeah, grownups will line up to do what they're told with the understanding they'll die for their obedience...  NOT!!!  Only a little child will do what they are told to do.  Oh, the little child may even go kicking and screaming, but go they will, make no mistake about it.   Children have no choice, but to do what their parent(s) desires for them to do.   The call of Christ is absolutely a call to to a new life, but there can be no doubt, the call of Jesus Christ is to death as well.   Death to our way of being; death to our way of thinking; death to our way of behaving; death to the ways of all the world around us!

 

If you are born again, just as it for a parent and his little child, God will calls us, places us, and you have NO choice.  Is your mind filling with arguments and excuses?   Has a "Screw You!" type of statement jumped into your mind?  Formulating an intelligent, well written, gentle, but definite, "NO!," kind of comment??  

Christ calls you, and Christ will place you, exactly where He desires.   Nothing of Christ's call or placement will be agreeable to us.  Are you a "Jesus R Us" kid?? 

WHY I WILL ALWAYS BE A BAD PENNY...

Just Being Me

SQUARE PEG SURROUNDED BY ROUND HOLES?

Story of my life...

 Opener of worm cans?

     

Wall to wall worms  24/7/365

Always walking with one foot up on the curb, and one foot off?

 Exactly!

 On The Outside Looking In?

It will always be this way...

I do not fit in, never have, and never will.   I wanna conform, and I'd kill myself to do it.  I can't be a nonconformist.  I remember standing in a long line at a "stop and rob" quickie mart, outside Champaign, IL.  It was the same place I always stopped for gas and snacks for the 3.5 hour drive home.   The clerk was something extraordinary to behold.  She was a very physically unattractive girl.   But what she lacked in natural beauty she made up for with a truly horrific display of multicolored hair, goth clothing, a face so covered with piercings she looked like a connect the dots page from a coloring book.  What the metal didn't cover she attempted to bury beneath layers of vampire makeup.   She was a freak of nature, not mother nature, but a construct of her chosen alternative anti-establishment group. 

 

The scary chick behind the register was a kindred spirit.  The difference between us was she'd found a group who would finally accept her, and she rose or lowered herself, to the level of those who'd accepted her.   I  have never found a group into which I fit, because I do not like willfully lowering myself merely to have a place to fit.  I try, but then God starts confronting me from the pages of the Bible.  I'm not a non-conformist.  I've always wanted to fit in so badly I'd have happily killed myself, nearly did more than once, to conform.   The weird looking clerk found a place to conform, and she exactly looked the part.   "If you can't beat them, and they won't let you join them, then f*** them! And make your own group to fit into", is how that kind of thing works.  

I suppose it could be argued I'd found a place when I self-identified as gay.  But calling myself gay based completely on the premise:  "I feel this way, therefore I am..." has always seemed to be utterly absurd.   In the end I did learn "feelings" should not be trusted in life and death situations.   If a matter is of life and death importance then treat it with the care and respect such situations deserve.   Today I am G.O.D. positive and HIV negative (and negative for every other STD as well).   I refused to settle for less and got more than I'd ever hoped or dreamed I could have. 

 

Someone might say I have found a group to fit into:  The Church.   That isn't true either.  I have never fit into "the church" as we know it.   When I came to Christ I found the one person who had overcome the world, sin, "me, myself, and I," every temporary worldly concern and thing, and a whole lot more!   God has never allowed me to settle for less than what He wants.   God showed me early on the perfect prayer:

"God I want Your perfect will, not your permissive will.  Please God do not ever let me settle for less than Your perfect will.  In Jesus' name, Amen!"

I will always be on the outside of "the American church", looking in.  Does this mean I think I understand all things?  Do you honestly think I am following God, and if you don't look like me, I think you aren't following God???   If I thought you, my readership, didn't have important insights from God, He hasn't bestowed upon me, and believed you weren't truly interested in serving God, I wouldn't waste my time on you.'

God has never given up on me, and he has never given into my demanding tantrums to,  "Just leave me alone!"   In fact the last time I told God, "Leave me alone,"  He told me, "DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN!"  I have never experienced something that intense in all my life.   The fear of God is more than simple reverence. 

There is a line from the movie The International, starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts, which fits what I'm talking about perfectly.  There is a conversation between Naomi Watts' character and her boss. 

 

Naomi Watts:  "We have to find the truth!  And finding the truth means taking responsibility."

Boss            :  "Yes, exactly!  Which is why people avoid the truth at all cost!"

[Those aren't the exact lines, but it's close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades]

The truth is Jesus Christ has overcome the world, and everyone born again, of the Holy Spirit, overcomes the world.  It is the responsibility of the Church of Jesus Christ to allow Him to overcome the world (utterly defeat and destroy the ways of the world) in and through them. 

  

The truth is Jesus Christ cancelled our earthly citizenship the moment the Holy Spirit made us born again.  

"...for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world."

John 17:14 

"They are not of the world, even as I am not of it."

John 17:16

The truth is just as Father sent Jesus into the world, Jesus sent us into the world.  The same call Father God gives Jesus, Jesus gives to His Church.

"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world."

John 17:18

Before anyone wastes my time telling me, "That's your opinion, Lonnie," let me just say this:  My opinion, until quite recently, has been:  "God, I think You should leave me alone, and let me live out my life quietly.   Wasn't being gay punishment enough for one lifetime?"  The church in America hated or ignored me as a gay man, and they still hate me now.  Telling the American church the truth will only succeed in getting me killed.

I'm not going to die for my opinion.  I'm going to die because the truth means having to take responsibility, just EXACTLY as Jesus commands, and American christians will do almost anything to avoid the truth.  I don't have any choice in the matter.   I've prayed for years:  "God I want Your perfect will, please do not let me settle for less."
  

• I am not a citizen of the world any longer.   "They are not of the world, even as I am not of it."  ~Jesus of Nazareth.  You are either a citizen of Christ's kingdom, or you are a citizen of a worldly one.  Jesus does not allow for duel citizenship.   Jesus said it 2,000 years ago, and since, "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever...," the decree of Christ holds true to this day.  
• The Father sent Jesus into the world to save it, and Jesus sends us into the world, filled with the Holy Spirit, and through us Jesus Christ continues His ministry.  

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." 

Ephesians 2:10

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

John 14:12

To the Christians in America I will always be a "bad penny,"  but if I could have my way I'd like to just quietly sit in the background fitting in.  

One last thing...

I will never again vote or take part in any political party, or political activity, for any reason whatsoever.  I do not have a problem with America in the least.  America is lost, SEE, NO PROBLEM...understanding lost America.   Until the American church, from every sector and denomination, comes together on the steps of city hall;  the rotunda of the state house; and the on the steps of the capital in Washington D. C.   to repent of our sins,  NOT  America's sins, but the sins of Christ followers; saints; Christians.   America is a godless nation, not because of the sins of the lost, but because of the wickedness of those who name the name of Christ as savior.   Once Christ followers start publicly repenting to God and the lost, then, AND ONLY THEN, can we seek God about how He would have us handle politics.   

I am blessed to have been born in America.  I have enormous problems with American Christians who will not give themselves over to following Christ's ways and Christ's agenda.   Too many American Christians have deceived themselves and others into believing God must bless and prosper their self-centered and self-serving agenda.   God blesses and prospers only the work done in and through us by the Holy Spirit.   For God to bless and prosper human agendas and human ways would be to deny Himself; would make God a liar; and make God subservient to human whim.  

For it is written: 

  

"Let the wicked forsake their ways
   and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them,
   and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.

 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,

   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:7-9