47 YEAR OLD AND A BIKE

I Raced A Chipmunk...

And The Chipmunk Won!!!

I aired up my tires and hit the road this morning about 6:30.  The sun was just coming up, so it was cool and still.   I love riding in the morning.  Pollen counts are also down in the early morning.  I'm still suffering with my allergies, but I'm going to suffer anyway, so I'm going to ride.  I'm at the point now I get very disappointed if I miss my morning ride.  I crank up praise and worship music on my iPod, and ride like the wind!  Okay, maybe not like the wind.

Okay, maybe not even as fast as a slow puff of air from an old man with bad emphysema.  This morning not one, not two, but three chipmunks crossed the path of my speeding bicycle.  I was relieved when the first one made it by, but only by a hairs breadth.  When the second one crossed me, I was beginning to feel my age.  Still I was glad number two didn't get mangled in my spokes.  Number three, well number three was a little more interesting.  Number three didn't simply cross in front of my speeding bicycle he started across a little late.  Number three's trajectory was at an angle, but because he started running by the time my front wheel had already passed him, he had to run very hard to clear the front of my bike.  He did outrun my bike, but came the closest to death by a fat bald man on big silver bike.  I raced a chipmunk for a few feet, and the chipmunk won!  Denied the checkered flag by a rodent half the length of my own foot!!  I know how Charley Brown feels when he goes to kick the football and Lucy pulls it away!!!  OH THE AGONY OF DEFEAT!!!

There actually was a fourth chipmunk, but chipmunk number four started to cross in front of me, but jumped back into a sitting position until I passed.  Number four is the SMART chipmunk.  I tell you number four would have been road kill if he'd crossed me!  Three strikes and your out sucker!!  I intimidated and dominated number four!  Man and bike win the final engagement with little, furry, and so cute you wanna puke!!  That's right little dude, you don't want to mess with a man wearing shorts so tight he can sing a high C above C!!  It will not go well for you number four!!

OH THE AGONY!!