Thursday, October 13, 2011

CONFESSIONS OF A RELUCTANT SHEPHERD

A New Trend

"All we like sheep have gone astray;
      We have turned, every one, to his own way;"
Isaiah 53:6


Not long ago, I was enjoying one of my, former, favorite hobbies/past times.  I was complaining bitterly at God about HIS Church; HIS Christians; HIS greatest problem, and my greatest (perceived) problem.   A thought suddenly sliced through my well tread litany of ever growing, and oft read list of Church sins, "THEY REALLY ARE LIKE SHEEP, AREN'T THEY?"  I know when The Holy Spirit is speaking to me.  It should have shut me up, but God was, finally, agreeing with me.  I felt so relieved that God was getting on board with my view of things...Yeah right!  God gets on board with my agenda!?!?  What a total joke!  God will never get on board with my agenda and my way of doing things!  Still I jumped at God's bait, "Not just sheep God," I said, confidently, "but STUPID, uncaring, even hateful sheep!"  "YES," came the response, "...LIKE SHEEP GONE ASTRAY."  I was so excited God was on my side!   Then the other shoe dropped, though with God it's more like he drops a whole shoe store..."SHEEP GONE ASTRAY...IN NEED OF A SHEPHERD..."  Imagine standing on an airport landing strip, and getting hit, right in the kisser, by a Boeing 747 wide bodied jet.  The Holy Spirit's conviction landed on me full throttle!   The simple phrases which entered my thoughts don't, at first, appear to be capable of conviction.   How can statements such as, "Like sheep gone astray...in need of a shepherd," possibly be considered convicting?

God's conviction came because he's called me to be a pastor two decades ago.  God has always operated in and through me to minister to others.  Ministry for me is and has always been very natural and organic.  For years and years I really didn't understand it is simply how God is creating and conforming me to the image and likeness of Jesus.   God conforming us to the likeness and image of his Son is of greatest importance, not the call to ministry.  Never forget God can speak through a donkey if he so desires.  I shake my head at people who make their life's pursuit "the ministry".   "My ministry," never has been, and never will be mine.  The ministry is God's from first to last.  God simply works ministry in and through me, as I walk and serve in the Spirit.  Still I have always dragged my feet...okay that's not truthful...I didn't drag my feet, I always dug my heels in, until all forward progress stopped.  Then I started walking backwards.   I never fully ran away from God, but I've always kept ministry, more than less, at arm's length.  The simple answer for why I've always dug my heels in is because the Church hates and rejects me and people like me.

And let me be completely clear about what I mean, when I say, "The Church hates me and rejects people like me."  I'm talking about a Church hijacked, run by, and centered on human beings.  Church as business; Church as human institution; Church as Political Action Committee; Church as "us" against "those people"; Church as self-help/12 step program so we can control our sin, feel better about ourselves, and build up our self-esteem; Church as get rich quick, and have a "happy" life, because God is our "Celestial Sugar Daddy"; Church as Lord High Pimp for The American Dream.  And before anyone starts thinking I think I know the "right way" to do Church, let's get this straight, "I don't know how to do Church "the right way."'  I don't know how to do Church the right way, because I am not God the Father, God the Son, or God the Holy Spirit.  I have some "right" ideas and ways, but until God is operating in and through me fully as a pastor, I won't know what Church should look like.  I never wanted to be a pastor, because I can't be what I've always seen in churches and ministries.   What I never understood is God isn't calling me to be what I've always seen and experienced in churches.   God isn't calling me to "fix" what I've always seen and still see as serious life killing practices and beliefs in the body of Christ.  And doing ministry differently doesn't mean completely reinventing the Church either.

What I'm really talking about is Holy Spirit revival.  I'm talking about God's own Spirit coming into our midst and bringing us back to being the body of Christ, Father and Jesus desire for us to be.  One of my friends, who is a pastor, was in a staff meeting where a former Muslim, now Christian pastor, spoke to the leaders of my friend's church.   This former Muslim said this about the evolution of the Church: 

"In Jerusalem, the Church was family.  By the time the Church came to the Gentiles it was a community.  The Church in Europe was an institution.  In America the Church is a business."  

I believe God is calling us to a new reformation.  I don't have 95 theologians to nail to a church door, and I hope it won't be necessary (I'm joking).  I don't have to go around telling everyone, "I'm right, you're wrong, and God likes me better," because I don't believe this is how God desires to work in and through me.  God is right, and we've all got it wrong somewhere.  God started his Church, He can and will bring it into order, and under his Lordship.  I am called to serve God's purpose however God desires to work in and through me.  I don't have to serve what has been in the past, but can serve God in new or renewed ways.  It is my conviction that God is working to free his Church to be the family he started 2,000 years ago, in Jerusalem.  Not a family according to what the world calls family, but God's family centered completely on Jesus, his call and work in the world.  I can serve God as he always intended without serving what God is causing to pass away.  I don't have to "make" anything happen, all I have to do is faithfully serve what God is making. So there will be a great deal more to come from a reluctant, but contented, shepherd.

Blessings,
Lonnie

No comments: